Well, it's been almost a week since surgery and I'm pretty much have done nothing other than find comfortable positioning on the couch (harder than you might think) and gently swing my arm back and forth in what we rehab patients call "progress." Man, doing nothing is hard. I still have 4-5 weeks left in a sling and months of "progress" to make. I am doing better, especially after getting rid of the Percs. F*ck those pills. I'm all set with the constant nausea and constipation. Pop some CVS-brand Ibuprofen, a bottle a water, some grapes and I'm good. However, I'm doing something that I rarely do and that's taking my time, which takes practice. It's funny how people phrase it, "Take it easy, take your time" in this passive tone not realizing the exact essence of "taking your time" makes me cringe in desperation. But, like Dexter Morgan said,
"Blood. Sometimes it sets my teeth on edge, other times it help me control the chaos." In my case, time, not blood, is the noun.
My only job right now is damage control of my shoulder and the fact that that's my only job kind of sucks. I know that there are people working at this time wishing to be home or doing something else, and I am, by no mean, wishing to be working, but the highlight of my day was watering dying tulips and placing them by the window. I haven's watered a plant since the 1st grade, when we planted those beans in dixie cups. I'm certain that my uncertainties of time reaches many people and it somewhat represents our American culture. We want things fast, or at least at a specific pace. I hate waiting too long for food. I hate fast haircuts because I think they didn't put enough time into it. And I have a love/hate relationship with flights being on time, mainly because I expect them to be delayed and when they are not, I actually have to go through checking, security, food, magazines in a timely fashion. Haha. I sound so cynical, but I'm not, just a bit critical I guess. Back to my point about the American culture: In our culture, we raise go-getters. Individuals are taught that sky's the limit, and with a limitless attitude, we are always going to be thinking about the next project. I woke up from one of my 13 cat naps to the whispering, creeping voice of Mr. Charlie Sheen in a interview with Dan Patrick talking about how "crack is okay in social situations and if the person is able to manage it." Wow. This guy has lost it, but his case illustrates an important point, doing nothing is really a feeling and that feeling can manifest into something greater, good or bad. In Wise Charlie's case, very bad. It seems people like him have the money to surround himself with whatever world he wants, and when he feels like he is doing nothing and bored then he makes magic. POOF! a hooker and some coke. Sheen and myself do not live parallel lives, so no need to worry about falling into his traps.
On a serious note, we have to take each second as stress-free as possible because life will give us our natural dose of unfortunate events. In order to fully understand those events and react efficiently, stress, tension and anxiety need to be checked at the door. Feeling productive is my "hooker and coke" and now that I'm physically limited I have to find productivity within my means, but I have to be careful. While listening to Wale's mixtape, ironically named, A Mixtape About Nothing, I picked up on clips he uses from the show Seinfeld. He closes the mixtape with:
"The question is this, what have I been doing? Nothing. I know what you're thinking, that sounds pretty good. I'll like to do nothing myself. Well, let me tell you, doing nothing is not as easy as it looks. You have to be careful because the idea of doing anything can easily lead to doing something that will cut into your nothing and that will force me to drop everything."
- Jerry Seinfeld
So I continue to explore this Era of Nothingness in hopes to find new "somethings." Well, I'm off on an adventure...
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